


here, always

by heihua



Category: Free!
Genre: Dark, Dubious Consent, Forced Relationship, Free! Kink Meme, Implied Kidnapping, M/M, implied abandonment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heihua/pseuds/heihua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Sometime during their early College years, just when Haruka is beginning to realize his real feelings for Makoto, Makoto disappears. This leaves Haruka to wonder why: if it was because Makoto realized his feelings or had gotten tired of him and so on so for. The only thing Haruka (and everyone else) knows is that Makoto (probably) disappeared voluntarily and is alive somewhere (evidence points to this). The knowledge that Makoto is alive somewhere makes things worse for Haruka and, years later, Makoto is still a sore subject for him...</p>
<p>And then one of Japan's richest and most powerful man dies in a boating accident and for a while, the news is filled with stories of his excesses, the lavish properties he has all over the world, the fast cars... </p>
<p>...and that one property in Hokkaido with a sprawling backyard, at least fifty rooms, its own multi-floor aquarium...</p>
<p>and the young man who, for years, was never allowed to leave its premises."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_"You know I'll always be here for you Haru."_  
  
_"You don't have to state something so obvious."_  
  
_"Haha, I guess you're right."_  
  
_".......It's mututal."_  
  
_"Hm? Did you say something?"_  
  
_"No. Nothing."_

 

 

 

 

Ren and Ran are already middle schoolers, but it doesn't stop the two of them from tackling Haru as soon as they spot him enter the living room.  
  
"Haru-chan!" they yell together, squeezing him tight.  
  
It's a testament to how rigorous his (surprisingly voluntary) swimming regime is when he can still remain standing with the weight of both twins on him. He makes a note to thank Gou for it, as Ren and Ran finally let go of his torso and take to grabbing his arms.  
  
"Haru-chan, help me with my art project," Ran demands, tugging on his left arm.  
  
"No fair Ran. Haru-chan's supposed to help me with my math homework," Ren whines, tugging on his right arm.  
  
Before it could dissolve into Tug-a-Haru between the twins, Mrs. Tachibana arrives.   
  
She brings tea and snacks, the perfect mediators to prevent an all out fight between the twins that had started to become more and more common now that they were beginning to enter the stages of adolescence. The snacks also help with the ensuing negotiations of who Haru would be helping first with homework, for which Haru is grateful.  
  
It's the first time in almost half a year that Haru has found enough free time from university to return to Iwatobi, and he's spending it doing even more homework. Haru realizes the irony of the situation but it's not like it's particularly difficult schoolwork so he lets himself be dragged into the seat between the twins.  
  
The afternoon passes by in a blur of math formulas, paint smears and too much glitter underneath his fingernails and on his shirt.   
  
Before he knows it, Mrs. Tachibana is calling the three of them for dinner.  
  
Mr. Tachibana arrives just as Haru finishes helping Mrs. Tachibana set the table. He knows because he hears Ren and Ran yell an exuberant "Welcome back!" from the front hall that's loud enough to be heard from the dining room. He hears Mrs. Tachibana stifle a small laugh, but she can't keep the warm smile from appearing on her face. Haru has to force down the lump that forms in his throat as another face rises up like a wave before his mind's eye and he's hit with a sudden bout of sickness.  
  
But he clamps down the sickness, forces it down as swiftly as it came with the ease of having experienced the same event a hundred times over (it's a lie though—it's never easy) so when Mr. Tachibana arrives in the dining room with Ren and Ran in tow, he's able to look him in the eye.  
  
Dinner is another blur of delicious food and casual conversation that flows over and around Haru, sometimes simply passing him by and other times pulling him before letting him loose once more. He's taciturn compared to the rest of the chatty, sociable Tachibana family but they openly accept him, regardless and Haru will always be grateful for that.  
  
Gratitude is a difficult thing to return though, but Haru tries anyways as he fills in the fourth seat at the Tachibana dinner table.  
  
After dinner, Haru spends a bit more time helping Ran finalize her art project in the living room. Ren is there too, if only to spend more time with Haru. Mrs. Tachibana does the dishes while Mr. Tachibana keeps the twins and Haru company. He turns the TV on, background noise that's quickly drowned out when Ren and Ran break out into another argument about whether blue or green is a better color to describe the ocean.  
  
Haru lets the argument resolve on it's own, his eyes briefly glancing towards the TV where the anchorman is talking about the death of a Hashida Senshu. The name rings a faint bell in Haru's mind—he's heard it somewhere before but it hadn't been important enough for him to commit it to memory. The anchorman fills in the gaps when he mentions that Hashida was the man behind many of Japan's newest computer software, many of which Haru has used for his classes.  
  
"One of Japan's greatest assets," the anchorman says. He goes on to talk of the vast amount of wealth Hashida possessed: images of Hashida's mansion, all the boats and cars parked in the twenty different garages of his mansion flashing across the screen as he talks.  
  
A picture of said man eventually appears on the TV, blown up to fill the whole screen. Dark hair receding a little around the hairline and hazel eyes set in a neutral face. It was hard to tell how old he looked; there were no sign of early wrinkles that indicated transition into middle age but the light stubble around his face belonged to a man who had long grown out of adolescence.

"His poor family," Haru hears Mr. Tachibana say. "He was so young."

Haru thinks he might have imagined the brief darkening of Mr. Tachibana's kind eyes when he says this, but at the same time he's sure it's happened.

But he says nothing of it and turns back to Ran to ask what color she wants to use color the border of her portrait.

 

 

 

 

It's a redundant question when Mr. Tachibana asks if Haru would be staying the night. His stuff is already in the guest room, overnight wear included even though at this point it's mostly as a precaution. He has stayed with the Tachibanas as often as he has stayed in his own house; since three years ago, that number has gone up.  
  
It's irrational to think that his house has become emptier now that he has moved out for Haru is still the only one who lives there, but when he thinks of how there is no longer a person to say "good morning" to him when he leaves the bath, how a familiar figure never waits for him at the bottom of the steps to his house and how he will never again grab hold of the warm hand that has helped him out of water so many times before, he knows that the place he once called home is now nothing more than a lone house that sits upon a hill.

 

 

 

  
Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana bade him good night as he's laying out the futon. Ren and Ran come hug him one last time before they go to bed and he tries to return their hugs the same way he has seen it done a thousand times before.  
  
But he can't. It's not the same.  
  
Ren and Ran understand. They know that Haru tries, in his own little ways, so they squeeze him tighter in response before letting go and running off to their own room.  
  
Haru changes into his sleep wear and slides into the futon, pulling the covers up to his chest, then turns onto his side. The house has grown quiet without voices.  
  
Haru is left alone with his thoughts. He grabs the collar of his t-shirt and pulls it up to his chin, where he burrows the lower half of his face into it.  
  
The shirt is an old one Makoto used to lend to Haru whenever he slept over, but now it's become a permanent part of Haru's wardrobe. The nausea rises again, a small light wave that always accompanies Haru's thoughts about Makoto these days. He pushes it down with an even larger wave of warm memories, of their high school days when swimming could still solve all of their problems and dazzling, green eyes weren't just passing visions Haru saw from the corner of his eye.

 

 

 

  
_He flinches, doesn't look in front where the hand is. It descends and lands on his head, strokes his hair. Gently, kindly. It's the same way he pets the stray cats on the stairs up to Haru's house._  
  
_His skin crawls. He feels sick._  
  
_"Don't worry," he hears, the voice all soft tones and gentle coos. "I'm here. I won't leave you alone."_  
  
_Makoto swallows and pretends he's not scared._


	2. Chapter 2

As much as his house is no longer his home, Haru still finds it in himself to decline the Tachibana's offer of letting him stay the weekend at their place and return back to his house. As empty as it was, Haru knew he had a duty to keep the house in livable condition if only to preserve the memory of his grandmother, and of all his friends who have spent countless hours with him in that place.  
  
If nothing else, he has to preserve those memories.  
  
So he cleans.

 

 

 

  
He's halfway done with the living room when his phone rings.  
  
He's tempted to let it ring, especially when he sees it's Rin. He already has an idea of what Rin is going to try and say to him and it's not something he particularly wants to deal with so soon after coming home. But Rin is nothing but persistent when he wants something and Haru briefly debates the pros and cons of having his cell phone ring nonstop for the rest of the time he's cleaning.  
  
Inaudibly sighing, Haru decides to just get it over with and picks up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
_"Hah!"_ Rin lets out a triumphant sound through the phone. His voice fades out a little as he continues speaking.  _"I told you he would come around. What'd I say, Sousuke?"_  
  
Haru hears Yamazaki speak up, his voice clearly carrying through the phone—Rin must have put him on speaker.  _"Just because he picked up the first time you called doesn't mean he's suddenly gung-ho for going out."_  
  
Haru's lips twist down; he had been right.  
  
"Rin," be says. "I'm not going."  
  
He hears Yamazaki sigh.  _"What'd I say?"_  
  
But Rin won't accept refusal so easily.  _"And why not? You came back to Iwatobi because this is one of the first free weekends you've had in a while, right? Then spend it with us!"_  
  
"I'll pass." Spending time with Rin was one thing but having to spend time with Rin while Yamazaki was there was a completely different story.  
  
_"You're just going to waste away what little of your free time just swimming?"_ Rin says, exasperated.  _"There's more to life than just spending time in the pool Haru."_  
  
It was an impressive statement coming from someone who was aiming to be Olympic swimmer. Haru hears Yamazaki let out a short laugh at the statement.  
  
"I promised Auntie I'd go over for dinner."  
  
_”The clubs don't open until after eight. We'll go after you're done with dinner. Come on Haru,"_  Rin urges, but Haru won't budge.  
  
"Ren and Ran want me to play a new game with them."  
  
Rin sighs, clearly expecting the response but having hoped for another answer, is still disappointed.  
  
_"Let it go Rin,"_ Yamazaki drawls.  _"We all know Nanase's still too hung up on Tachibana to care about anyone else."_  
  
_"Sousuke!"_ Rin's scolding comes too late—Haru's already hung up.  
  
He carelessly tosses the phone onto the table, thinks better of it and moves it to inside the closet, placing it behind a storage box. He breathes in, out, in and out until he can feel his nails digging into his palm.  
  
His hands unclench. His breathing evens out. He can now hear the sound of the birds and insects outside instead of the blood rushing through his ears.  
  
He returns to cleaning.

 

 

 

  
Rin's glare of fury would have left most of the underclassmen and about half of the upperclassmen on his university's swim team cowering in a corner and/or running for cover but Sousuke doesn't even blink.  
  
"That was a low blow."  
  
"It was the truth," Sousuke answers and Rin's glare intensifies.  
  
"That doesn't mean you have to go and—"  
  
"He's twenty now, not seventeen," Sousuke snaps. "He's already in his third year of university. We shouldn't have to coddle him just because he won't accept that Tachibana left him to do other things."  
  
"You don't know that!" Rin explodes, always running to the defense of his old friends, always trying to justify their actions. "You've seen how Makoto and Haru were. Makoto wouldn't just up and leave Haru behind without a word."  
  
"Didn't it ever occur to anyone," Sousuke cuts in before Rin can go on. "That Tachibana may have just gotten tired of taking care of Nanase?"  
  
Sousuke meets Rin's gaze. "You think so too, don't you? That's why you're always trying to get Nanase to go out. So he can find someone else to fill the gap Tachibana left behind. So he can  _forget_ Tachibana and move on. If you really want to do that Rin, it would just be easier to say that it to Nanase's face. Maybe then he'll actually try and let go."  
  
Rin shakes his head, the anger in his eyes simmering down into a helpless sort of frustration. "It's not that simple," he whispers. "You can't just let someone go. Not when you know he might still be out there, somewhere."  
  
Sousuke doesn't understand—he doesn't think he ever really wants to understand Nanase—but he understands that this subject is just as painful for Rin as it is for Nanase.  
  
So he lets it go.

 

 

 

  
"It's delicious!" Mrs. Tachibana exclaims as she tastes Haru's mackerel soup. Her smile practically radiates from every part of her body. "I always knew you were a talented chef, Haru-chan."  
  
Haru acknowledges the praise with an incline of his head and then turns to spooning soup into the bowls but Mrs. Tachibana stops him and proceeds to shoo him out the kitchen.  
  
"You've already helped me with dinner tonight Haru-chan. Go spend some time with Ren and Ran while I finish things up here." She refuses to take no for an answer, standing at the kitchen doorway to stop Haru from entering again to continue working on his mackerel soup.  
  
Not that he has to worry; the mackerel will be in good hands with Mrs. Tachibana.  
  
So he moves to the living room where the rest of the Tachibana family is. The TV is on again as background noise, the main focus being the three-way card game between the twins and Mr. Tachibana.  
  
Ren notices him first. "Haru-chan! Do you want to play with us?"  
  
"You'll have to wait until next round Haruka-kun, we just started," Mr. Tachibana apologetically tells him.  
  
"I don't mind," Haru tells them and takes the empty spot between Ren and Ran at the table.  
  
While he waits, he watches TV. It's another cover about Hashida—this time focusing on his contributions to the world of software engineering, how quickly he rose to be a millionaire and then a billionaire at such a young age because of his ground-breaking methods to advance the field of computers and the loss the world would feel now that he had passed away. Haru quickly loses interest.  
  
Hashida was just another man who had died before his time. He was a person who lived a life far different from Haru's. Whatever choices he made, whatever paths he took in life—besides the times in school when he used the programs developed by Hashida—had no effect on Haru's life. Why should he care about his death?  
  
"Haru-chan, we're starting a new round!" Ren energetically tells him and pulling Haru out of his thoughts.  
  
He turns away from the TV and spends the rest of the time before dinner playing cards.

 

 

 

 

_"What's wrong?"_  
  
_Makoto audibly gulps. His hands holding the stainless, pure silver chopsticks shake. He sees the way the tips waves back and forth in his vision: up and down. Left to right._  
  
_"What's wrong?"_  
  
_The question is repeated, just as patient as the first time. He doesn't raise his voice, always repeats things when he thinks Makoto may not have heard him and he waits, never getting angry, never disappointed when Makoto hesitates to answer. Makoto wishes he would yell. He wishes he would get angry, lose his temper when Makoto takes too long to respond, when Makoto refuses to answer his question._  
  
_It would be easier if he got angry._  
  
_But he just smiles, like he has all the time in the world._  
  
_Makoto looks down at tonight's dinner: perfectly cooked kobe beef as the main dish with masutake mushrooms, crisp steamed organic vegetable and miso soup on the side. The rice is almost blindingly white; it looks too perfect to be eaten. For dessert, he's been promised Densuke black watermelon._  
  
_Makoto feels sick. He wants to excuse himself. The spread of food is delicious, a table full of delicacies Makoto would have never been able to see, let alone eat back in Iwatobi without paying at least two arms and a leg._  
  
_And Makoto can't stomach a single bite._  
  
_"What's wrong?" The question is repeated a third time, always the same patient tone, the same level tone. "Do you not like the food?"_  
  
_'I want to go home,' Makoto almost says. He wants to eat his mother's fried chicken and vegetable salads. He wants to eat popsicles that are too artificially blue and too sugary. Above all, he wants to eat mackerel._  
  
_But the smile is still there so Makoto picks up his bowl and drinks his soup._  
  
_"It's delicious," he says as acid slides down his throat._


	3. Chapter 3

The game Ren and Ran wanted to play had at least half the gameplay revolve around the ocean so it's easy for Haru to quickly get into it. Ren and Ran have to giggle at how intense Haru looks as he plays; no matter how old he gets, Haru's love for water will never waver.  
  
They laugh out loud when one of the characters in the game is shown to have an aquarium in their house and Haru is suddenly leaning so close to the screen his nose is practically touch-ing it.  
  
Ren pulls him back towards the bed. "Haru-chan, you'll hurt your eyes like that."  
  
Ran is still giggling. "Haru-chan, I bet you'd want a house like that."  
  
"It's not want, I  _will_  have an aquarium in my house," Haru resolutely announces, much to Ren and Ran's further amusement. "Or I could build a house in the ocean."  
  
"Ooohh," Ran perks up. "That sounds really cool. Can I come visit, Haru-chan?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Yay!" Ran throws her arms around Haru. "Thank you Haru-chan!"  
  
"No fair!" Ren whines and throws his weight against Haru. "I wanna visit Haru-chan too!"  
  
"You're both welcome. Auntie and Uncle too."  
  
"Promise, Haru-chan?" Ran holds out her pinky.  
  
Haru takes one of his hands off the controller and links his pinky with Ran's. "Promise."

 

 

 

  
He heads back before it gets too late, even though the Tachibanas were more than willing to let him stay the night. Even though it would have been less quiet, even though he wouldn't have been nearly as lonely, Haru still returns to his house.  
  
He tells himself it's because he'll be able to soak in the bath for as long as he wants but he knows that's just a lie.

 

 

 

  
Sunday morning, Haru wakes up early to begin packing. He has to switch trains twice, then take a bus back to campus. The last bus is always ridiculously early in the day so Haru has to leave Iwatobi before noon lest he end up taking the scenic route back to campus with ten pounds of luggage on him.  
  
He's already said his goodbyes to the Tachibana's last night so there's no need for him to stop by again before he leaves. He's doing a once over of the house to make sure he's packed when his cell phone begins ringing.  
  
He briefly wonders when he became popular enough to receive this many phone calls in the span of two days (he can usually count on one hand the number of calls he gets in a month) before he reaches over to check the caller ID.  
  
It's Nagisa, which definitely catches Haru's attention.  
  
Nagisa was notorious for sleeping in during the weekends so for him to be calling Haru at a time he considered "far too early to even be thinking of getting out of bed" meant something was definitely up.  
  
That suspicion is further proven right when Haru picks up and he not only hears Nagisa on the other end of the line, but Rei as well.  
  
"Haru-chan, the news!" he shrieks. "Check the news!"  
  
"Nagisa-kun, you're overwhelming Haruka-senpai!" Rei's chastiting tone is as familiar as Nagisa's overexuberant yelling but there's a sense of urgency in both of their voices that seems out of place.  
  
"This is important Rei-chan!  _Haru-chan, the news!_ "  
  
Haru's already reaching for the remote before Rei's voice comes back through the phone to scold Nagisa some more. Something big must be happening for both Nagisa and Rei to sound so urgent.  
  
The TV's already on a news channel when he turns it on. It's Hashida again.  
  
The news brings up the same images of Hashida's mansion, boat and cars again along with extra images of the other properties around the world that Hashida owned. Particular focus is put on a lavish house in Hokkaido, one not as luxurious as his main home but one he had apparently spent more time in than his own home. The news goes on to emphasize how vast the property was, with it's sprawling backyard that made it seem as though it was a "never ending green land" and the main feature of the house, a large aquarium that could rival some of Japan's finest spanning three floors in the mansion.  
  
Haru guesses the aquarium was what Nagisa wanted to show him, but he doesn't understand why Nagisa needed him to watch the news to know about it. He could have just told Haru about it. As interesting as the pictures of the aquarium and the house looked, Haru didn't see how the news could be so urgent as to warrant calling him.  
  
He's about to tell Nagisa off for it—Rei and him seemed to have forgotten Nagisa's phone was still on and were speaking, somewhat urgently, about something or another with Nagisa pulling the phone far away enough that it rendered his and Rei's words incomprehensible to Haru.  
  
"Nagisa," Haru barks into his phone, bringing the blonde's attention back to him.  
  
"Haru-chan." Nagisa's voice still holds the same urgency, but it's a bit more subdued now. He still sounds like he's in a hurry, like he'll burst if he doesn't get whatever he wants to say out.  
  
Haru's about to explain to Nagisa why a rich man's personal aquarium did not warrant so many calls, when he sees it.  
  
The news is still discussing Hashida's property in Hokkaido, of how one other person lived on the lavish property but was said to have never been allowed to leave the property.  
  
"He seems to have been living in the house for several years," the anchorwoman says, a picture of the mentioned person appearing in the top left corner of the TV. Like with Hashida's image, it's blown up as the anchorwoman continues to talk, filling up the whole screen so the whole word could see the soft, kind eyes and dark, sea green hair.  
  
Haru doesn't even hear Nagisa through his phone anymore. The world has suddenly become still and silent, gray and grainy around the edges as a picture of Tachibana Makoto is aired for all of Japan to see.

 

 

 

 

_“Let me go home,” he pleads, one more time in the eternity he has already spent here. He’s lost track of how many times he’s begged for this one thing, the only thing._  
  
_It’s all he needs but instead, he’s been showered with luxurious clothing and gifts; beautiful trinkets Makoto would have never seen in his lifetime and food so rare he’s only seen them on TV specials._  
  
_It’s enough to make him cry._  
  
_“Please,” he whispers, surrounded by a mountain of beauty and suffocating warmth._  
  
_Hashida Senshu doesn’t understand and simply strokes Makoto’s cheek, as happy as he can be._

**Author's Note:**

> Considering how sporadic I update, it's probably better I put this story somewhere that shows updates instead of leaving it to rot away in the thread.
> 
> Also I am a beacon of sin and I still don't know how to tag.


End file.
